About Singleness

  I never wanted to be single. I grew up dreaming of the home and family I would have someday. Only, I thought “someday” would be the year I turned 18. My eighteenth birthday came, and the year passed by, and I was still single. Oh well. I had great hopes the year that I was 19…and 20. And 21. And 22. And so the years passed. Every year I had new hope! Every year I was disappointed. Soon five years turned into ten, and then twelve. By this time, disappointment had turned into something very much like despair. Many of my friends were already married. There were hardly any single guys left… And - worse than anything else- because of my age, I was beginning to fear that I might never have children. 

  Then came the breaking point. A friend tried to comfort me by telling me that I should just not think about the pain I was experiencing. That I should be busy and happy and not think about it anymore. I nodded politely while inwardly I knew it was impossible. That night I cried and cried and cried. I cried before the Lord. I told Him that I could never lay aside the terrible ache in my heart without His help. I felt much like Hannah must have felt as she cried in the tabernacle. (1 Sam. 1:13) And I began to experience the comfort of the Holy Spirit as I never had before. More than anything else that night, I remember the overwhelming sense of the Lord’s pity, and His love. 

  Jesus spoke truly when He promised, “Blessed are they that mourn, for they shall be comforted.” (Mat. 5:4) In the morning, I found that the terrible ache in my heart had been replaced by a sweet confidence in the love of God. I also felt that if I could go back and change my life, I wouldn’t do it, because the experience I’d had with the Lord was well worth all the years of loneliness that it took to bring me to that place. 

  Today, many of you are in the same valley that I have walked through. First of all, I want to say that I’m sorry. I know it hurts.

  We have a new year before us. A year in which God will do many things. Perhaps they won’t be the things we are dreaming of. Maybe we won’t reach our personal goals, our financial goals…or our relationship goals. But maybe this will be a year when we grow in the Lord! 

  Maybe this will be the year that we fall in love with Jesus. 

  By the grace of God, I have refocused. Of course, I still want a family, but I’ve bent my will to submit it to Jesus. I’m happy with His will, in His way, and in His timing. I see before me a new year full of opportunity, to do the will of God. 

     “What a fellowship, what a joy divine, 

       leaning on the everlasting arms; 

       what a blessedness, what a peace is mine, 

       leaning on the everlasting arms.

       Refrain:

       Leaning, leaning, 

       safe and secure from all alarms; 

       leaning, leaning, 

       leaning on the everlasting arms.

       O how sweet to walk in this pilgrim way,              

       leaning on the everlasting arms; 

       O how bright the path grows from day to     

       day, 

       leaning on the everlasting arms. 

       What have I to dread, what have I to fear, 

       leaning on the everlasting arms? 

       I have blessed peace with my Lord so near, 

       leaning on the everlasting arms.”

                          

                                       -E. A. Hoffman